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A Poem dedicated to all of My friends at The CrossCurrent.

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There once was a man named Dave. Who laughed and worked and played.

And then one day this man named Dave, just suddenly threw it away.

He traded it in for devices so thin.

He traded it in for some chains.

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His chains were his friend they treated him swell.

He liked how they looked, how they felt.

Yet slowly and surely they dragged him away

To a place that felt so much, just like hell.

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“Never” he thought, “in millions of years,

Did I think I would end up this way.

Why did I ever think it was smart,

To replace what I had for a chain.”

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So there the man sat. Down deep in that hole.

In that place where Despair was his friend.

He patiently waited, In darkness remained.

Expecting to meet his dark end.

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He moaned and he wailed. He wept and he cried.

Believing His life was all through.

When out in the dark, a whisper he heard.

Someone else was there with him too.

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“Who could it be” he wondered. He thought.

“Who else would reside in this place.”

The whispers grew louder, he could stand it no more

He lifted his eyes and his face.

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There right before him stood an Old Rugged Cross.

Stained with blood, stained with tears, yet was empty.

There were nails and a hammer, and a crown made with thorns.

Yet a comfort he felt from this tree.

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From behind in the darkness a presence he felt.

Familiar, and warm, just like home.

A hand on his shoulder. Words burned like fire.

“My child you were never alone.”

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“All of this time you sat in the mud

You wallowed in all your self pity

You thought no one cared, that no one out there,

Could ever love someone so iffy”

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“Always, you’ve lived, as if you were the worst”

You’ve treated yourself just like garbage.

But your wrong, you should know,

I Care for you, I created you free from this cage”

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“I was there when you chose to give it away.

I was there when you picked up those chains.

Disappointed I was to see you give in.

But NEVER did I go away”

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“There is something my child, that you must understand

I knew that this day would soon come.

I was not surprised when you cursed and you lied.

Did you think I was really that dumb.”

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“You can not escape from the love that I Am.

You can not erase or replace it.

You can try to out run what I’m feeling for you.

But theres no distance so far I can’t reach it”

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“You can build up a fortress so mighty and strong.

You can hide somewhere deep in the braces.

You can try to ignore who I made you to be.

But theres no wall that’s so strong I can’t break it.”

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“You’ve spent your whole life running from me.

It is time that you stop now and face me.

I Am not the one who is angry with you,

I’m the one filled with much Love and with Mercy”

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“That cross is a symbol of My heart for you.

To remind You of how much You mean.

I Love you, not because of what you can do

Because I have made you, You belong with me.”

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“Get up right now. Leave this behind

Let it go and release it to me.

I am Jesus. Your Father, Your Author, Your friend.

You are mine now. Go and Be Free.”

Well…are you ready to learn the secret?

Are you ready to learn how you can overcome?

Are you ready to learn how you can let it all go?

Okay, here it is.  The secret to how you can overcome is…you can’t!!

Okay, so I know you were expecting a big formula, or some super awesome great pearl of wisdom that you would write down when you read it this wicked angelic musical chord would strike and the room would light up and suddenly all the mysteries of your life would make sense and you would be forever changed and never struggle with any kind of temptation or sin again because you finally knew “the secret”.  Sorry.  I didn’t mean to trick you.  If you knew me at all you would know that I have no angelic chord striking pearls of wisdom.  All I have is what the Apostle Peter gave to the lame man at temple gate, Jesus.  If you wanted me to give you something that would instantly change you, somehow, into a person that didn’t struggle with temptation or someone who didn’t have to, everyday, fight to stay on the path that Christ set for us, than your on the wrong planet.  It doesn’t exist.  There is no magic formula.

All my life I waited.  I waited for “the moment”.  Every addict knows about “the moment”.  Even if you’re not an addict, you still know about “the moment”.  We’ve all waited for it.  We all believe in it.  We’ve all heard the stories of people who have come across it.  We know people that its happened to.  “The moment” is the part of your life when, all of a sudden, it all makes sense.  Its that point when, it all changes forever and you never struggle with your affliction again.  It could be a phrase someone says, or a song that comes on the radio or a pastor’s sermon that hits you just right, or a passage of scripture or even a big booming voice from heaven.  And when it comes, you change, and never have to worry about that thing that held you down.  You never have to struggle with it again.  So we wait.  We hope.  We expect.  And when it doesn’t happen, we anger.  We rage.  We depress.  We suicide.  We run.  We cry.  We quit.  All because of “the moment”.  Sadly, “the moment” doesn’t really exist.  No formula, no angelic chords, no “moment”.  I waited all my life and never found it.  I’ve talked to people much older than me who are still waiting.  They will still be waiting years from now.

So what is the real secret?  What is the real answer?  Its that same answer that everyone shouts out in every gathering at TXC when they don’t know the real answer.  Its the answer every little girl or little boy learns in Sunday school.  You guessed it.  JESUS.  He is the answer my friend.  No where in the bible does it say that we will not have struggles.  No where in the bible does it say that life is easy.  No where in the bible does it say that we will not have to fight each and every day to live a life pleasing to God.  If your bible says that than you’re reading a very poorly translated version.  Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world”.  No where in the bible does it say that you will overcome.  No where.  If YOU could overcome your troubles there would be no need for Jesus.  If YOU could win the day, than Jesus is worthless.  If YOU could do it yourself than Jesus has no meaning.  YOU can’t, HE CAN.  YOU can’t, HE WILL.  YOU can’t, HE HAS.  YOU can’t, HE IS.  1 John 5: 5 says “Who is it that has overcome the world, only he that believes that Jesus is the Son of God”.  1 John 4:4 says “…greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world”.

Wanna know how you can overcome, stop trying to overcome and get to know the one who can…Jesus.  The best advice I ever got on my journey to freedom form addiction was “stop trying”.  Simple, yes.  Stop trying.  Maybe some of us are trying too hard to overcome our problems.  That is one of the most brilliant plans the devil could ever put into action.  To cause us to try too hard.  See, if we’re trying really really hard, we start to take our eyes off of Jesus and end up in a mess that we will never get out of.  The wisest man who ever lived said in Proverbs 4 “…let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you…”  and Hebrew 12 say “let us fix our eyes on Jesus…”.  Jesus is the answer.  Jesus is the secret.  Jesus is the cure.  Jesus is the medicine.  Jesus is the fix.  Jesus is the bandage.  Jesus is the ointment.  Jesus is the missing piece.  Jesus is the healing.  Jesus is the joy.  Jesus is.  Forget your addiction, if even for one moment.  Forget it.  Let it go.  I’m honestly in tears as I write this because my heart breaks for those of you who are still trapped by something that Jesus already set you free from.  Paul tells us in Galatians 5;1 “It is for freedom that Christ HAS set us free”.  He HAS set you free.  Not will, or could, or might if you are good enough or try harder to overcome addiction, but HAS.  Its already done.  Let the world freeze for a moment, a moment long enough for you to see Jesus in his Word.  A moment long enough to see that his Word says he doesn’t care what you’ve done in the past.  A moment long enough to see that Jesus loves you simply because he made you.  All throughout his Word he is telling you that you are beautiful and wonderfully made and that he loved you before you were born, he loved you after you were born, and he even loved you in those moments when you thought no one was watching you while you were doing horrible things.  Yes, he even loved you then, and he still loves you now.

Jesus once spoke to me a message so clear I can still hear it.  I asked him, in a moment of desperation, “how do I get past this, how do I let go of this, God how do I beat this?”  He told me, “You can’t, I can”  He said to me “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you…”  I still hear it, “seek me first”.  Forget the addiction.  “Seek me first”.  Forget pornography.  “Seek me first”.  First.  Not after.  Not second.  Not later.  First.  Alpha.  First.  Now.

I do not look at pornography any more.  I am free.  I am a new creation in Christ.  I do not say it to boast in myself but to boast in Jesus.  I can only tell you that, when I finally took my eyes off of my problems long enough to see Him and how much he still loved me.  It has not been easy.  I have been tempted many times.  I will still be tempted in the future.  Satan hates me.  And he hates that I have changed.  But I love Jesus.  I love that he loves me.  I love that his Word tells me that in every page.  I love that I didn’t have to try to win my freedom, but it was given to me as a gift from a loving God.  Every day that I fix my gaze on him, and put him first, is a day where I will remain free.  Not free from struggle, not free from temptation.  Free from addiction, free from chains, and free from the hold Satan once had on me.

I am free.

Join me, won’t you?

Its no secret by now, well at least it shouldn’t be, that I have done some pretty bad stuff in my life.  For years I dealt with addiction to pornography.  I’m not exactly silent about it.  And I don’t plan on being silent about it.  My past has made who I am today.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not proud of what I’ve done,  but I do know that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I wasn’t where I was yesterday.  Part of my journey has been struggling with the subject of repentance.  I do mean struggling.  One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with was the difficulty of letting go of something that, for years, had been my closest friend.  Pornography wasn’t just an addiction to me, it wasn’t just a drug, it was a comfort.  This is may be something that only other addicts and former addicts would understand.  You see every time I had a good day, the addiction was my reward.  Every time I had a bad day the addiction was my comfort.  Stress, sickness, health, happiness, sadness, anger, depression, rage, loneliness, anything and everything I went through, pornography became my healer, my relief, my crutch, my leaning post, and my closest friend.  As the professionals in the therapy racket would say I would “medicate” my self with pornography.  It was the thing that made me feel better.  It made me feel safe.  It became the unchanging object in my life that never let me down.  No matter what, through thick and thin, it was always there.  Not just for a little while, but for years.  It became a pattern, an addiction, a habit, a way of life.  And that is something not easily broken.  Something impossible to just put down and walk away from.  It wasn’t just a friend it was a close friend.  Not just any close friend.  Like a close friend with an infectious disease, and every time you hang out with them you get more and more sick yourself.  But its not just any disease.  Its like a symbiotic relationship.  Once it attaches itself to you, you can’t separate from it without endangering yourself.  You become dependent upon it.  And I was.  I truly was.  Without it I felt insecure.  Without it I felt scared.  Without it I felt in danger of disappearing and yet the more time I spent IN its company the more I got sick and depressed and angry.  It was truly a love-hate relationship.  I hated what it was doing to me, but I loved it.  I loved it.  When I gave in to the addiction, in those moments, I loved it.  And yet after, when I would step back and see the damage I had done to myself and those I loved, I hated it.  I hated me.  But I could not stop.  I could not let it go.  Somehow, I didn’t want to.  Even though it was slowly destroying me and taking me to a place where I was getting so depressed to the point of suicide.

The bible talks of repentance.   It says to turn from these things that drag us away into the night far from God.  It says you can’t serve two masters.  It says we are supposed to put aside those things and set our minds on things above.  But what if you are like I was?  What if you try really hard and just can’t seem to let it go?  What if every thing you try seems to work for a time but then you are right back in it again?  What if there is just something about it that keeps you coming back for more and you can’t stop?  What if there is a secret part of you that some how doesn’t want to let it go?  How?  How do you…LET GO ?  How do you “overcome” like the Bible says?  How?  How?  How?

I figured it out.

I know the secret.

I know How.

…to Be Continued…

I was reading in the book of Luke the other day, in chapter 12,  when I came across a scripture that actually makes me shake.  Jesus tells a parable

35 “Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning,
36 and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks.
37 Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will dress himself for service and have them recline at table, and he will come and serve them.
38 If he comes in the second watch, or in the third, and finds them awake, blessed are those servants!

Then check out what Jesus says next

45 But if that servant says to himself, My master is delayed in coming, and begins to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk,
46 the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces and put him with the unfaithful.
47 And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating.

I read that and I am afraid.  It makes me fear God.  As Dan so eloquently put it on Sunday, “its time to stop playing ‘the game’”.  This life is not a game.  Serving Jesus is not a game.

I say this to myself as much as to any one else; its time to choose.  If we are not living according to the will of Jesus and his commands then we should quit pretending and just go all out for evil.  We might as well.  I mean, you can’t serve two masters.  Its impossible to do only some things God asks of us and not others and still expect to get to walk through the gates of heaven.  I ask you these questions;

Are you obeying Jesus?

If you aren’t

Are you really certain you will get to heaven?  Really certain?

I leave you with this, from Joshua 1:15

And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

I sit here contemplating the grace of God.  What does it look like?  What does it do?  What does it mean?  What is its purpose?  What is Grace?  Is it simply God’s ‘goodness’ to us?  The Bible says in Romans 2:4 that the “goodness of God” should lead us to ‘repentance’.  Repentance is a big theme in the new testament.  It seems that we as God’s children are called to it.  Jesus spoke of ‘repentance’ all the time.  In fact His message was ‘repent for the kingdom of heaven is near’.  It is something we are expected to do.  Is that then, what grace is for?  To reveal God’s goodness, and then in turn, lead us to repentance?

There are those that believe that grace is there to fill in the gaps when we fail, and therefore we are able to be who we are and continue to live whatever lifestyle we so choose, and it really doesn’t matter because ‘we are covered by grace’.  So in essence we can go on swearing and drinking and sleeping around and looking at porn and killing people, backstabbing, gossiping, committing adultery, lying, cheating, stealing, and so on and so on and its all good because ‘grace’ is there to pick up my slack and make it ‘all good’ with God.  This is called ‘Extreme Grace’.  I hear that and I think, “now that’s a Christianity I can get on board with”.  I mean, all fun and no consequences, that’s pretty good if you ask me.  The problem is, that’s not the grace I read about in the Bible.  That seems like a man made version of what God intended grace to really be.  Paul poses some really good questions in Romans 6.  He asks us “Should we go on sinning so that grace may increase?”  He then answers his own question with a resounding “NO”.  I prefer to read his answer as “No YOU IDIOT, What are you stupid”.  He tells us that Jesus died to free us from sin, so…why would we want to continue being slaves to it?

Jesus’ death on the cross is so deep in meaning that we will never truly comprehend its full value until we meet him face to face and he reveals it to us piece by piece over the span of eternity.  But one aspect of his death was to release us from the bondage of sin.  When we step over the line into the kingdom of God and say we believe in Jesus, we are, as Paul puts it, “no longer slaves to sin”.  We then make ourselves slave to Jesus and his Grace.  And if we are not living our lives according to the truths in the Bible and according to things Jesus tells us to do, the we are as James puts it “LIARS”.  Ephesians says we are saved by grace, not by ourselves.  It says that that salvation was a gift.  When we go on sinning we abuse that gift.   How dare we.  How dare we take the most precious gift given to man and trample on it.

Sin is what happens when we miss the mark God set for us.  Think of it this way:

Lets say you have a bow and an arrow and you fire an arrow at the target in front of you, but the target is just out of reach of the arrow.  What grace does is give the arrow the extra boost and lift to get it to the target and make a bullseye every time.  Firing the arrow is akin to following Christ and trying to live the example he set for us.  When the arrow falls short of the target that is when sin comes in and makes us miss.  The problem with living an ‘extreme grace’ lifestyle is, it would be the same as not even firing the arrow.  If the arrow does not leave the bow, then grace doesn’t hit the target.  And if grace doesn’t activate then we are truly screwed.  We are by no means saved by our own efforts, but Jesus does ask us for our own efforts in following him.  And when our own efforts are not good enough (which they aren’t) then God’s grace is there to hit the target and satisfy God’s wrath against us.  Grace doesn’t exist so we can do what we want.  It exists to show us how lucky we are that God chose to save us.  It exists to show God to be merciful, compassionate, JUST, forgiving, and awesome.  Not awesome as in “whoa dude that’s awesome (surfer dude accent) but awesome as in God is so big and so great He is AWE inspiring to the point that it forces us to our knees in AWE.  Grace exists to show us that we can’t do it on our own.  We need God.  We need his grace.

Titus 3:3-5

“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.
But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared,
he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy…”

1 Corinthians 15:10

“But by God’s grace I am what I am, and his grace shown to me was not wasted. Instead, I worked harder than all the others—not I, of course, but God’s grace that was with me.”

I say let us live in God’s Grace, and not his wrath.

Dear God, please help me to lose weight.  Amen

Have you ever prayed a prayer like that?  I mean it doesn’t have to be about losing weight.  Maybe you asked for help to stop smoking, or for the courage to stop hanging out with the wrong people, or for the ability to get up earlier in the morning, or to help you get a job, or for the strength to stop eating so many doughnuts.  Or whatever it is that you pray for.  Its a pretty common prayer.  We all ask for things.  We all pray prayers just like that.  The only problem is that so often we pray for things like “God, please help me to be a better father” then we say amen and turn the t.v. on and ignore our children.  Or we say amen and shout our order into the drive through sign.  The question is what the heck do we expect from God?  Do we really think that God is just going to magically do things for us?  I think too often we treat him like a genie in a magic lamp, and if we rub the lamp he will pop up and grant our three wishes.  The bible does tell us to present our requests to God.

We pray and say amen then walk away and go back to our daily lives waiting for our prayers to get answered.  Then we get mad when our prayers seem ‘ineffective’.  The part that I think so many of us overlook or forget is that is says to do so with “thanksgiving” and to “believe and not doubt”.  We are supposed to have faith in God’s ability to do the things that we ask of him.  Jesus said in the book of Mark that we are supposed to pray for things as if they have already happened.  That is the key.  Faith.  Faith is the thing that so often lacks from our prayers.  The bible describes faith as being “certain of what we hope for and sure of what we do not see”.  The book of James speaks a lot of faith.  He says that “faith without works is dead”, in some versions it says “useless”.  James talks about Abraham and how when God made a promise to Abraham, Abraham didn’t just sit on his but and wait for it to happen, but he acted on the promise.  Abraham made a move towards the promise.  James calls this faith.  Perhaps that is what truly lacks from our prayers.  Action.  Its all well and good to ask for the ability to stop smoking, but if its not followed by some kind of movement towards that goal perhaps it won’t go anywhere.

My question is when you pray, are you waiting for God to act, or is he waiting for you to act?

Today we went to the water slides, which is something our family does every summer at least twice.  Its one of our favorite traditions.  Today however, was slightly different from all of the other times we have gone before.  Today, two little girls almost drowned, right before my very eyes.  To be quite honest it happened so very fast I never had time to truly contemplate the severity of it until after it all happened.  But there they were, two cute little three, or three and a half year old girls bouncin around in the slide pool just havin fun.  They slowly stared getting deeper and deeper into the pool and right away I felt a little antsy about it.  I quickly glanced at the life guard to see if she was going to tell them not to get so close to the slides.  I mean after all, people are shooting out of them at break neck speeds.  I certainly didn’t want to see them get clobbered.  But to my chagrin she did not.  As I looked back at the girls I noticed that one of them was trying to swim, but to me, it looked like the current of the water underneath her had take hold of her and she couldn’t.  I looked back at the lifeguard but she was looking in the opposite direction.  I turned back to the girls and the one who was swimming before was now, what looked like, fighting for her life.  I wasn’t too sure at first because sometimes little kids play those kind of games in the pool and her friend didn’t seem to worried.  I also thought “their mother must be here somewhere”.  Never the less I was a bit worried.  I glared at the life guard yet again as if to tell her to get up and do something, but she still had yet to even notice the girls.  I swung my head back to the girls.  The one who was struggling was now completely under.  I sat up at full attention and looked at the life guard again thinking “if you don’t stinking do something, I will”.  When I turned back to the girls I was horrified.  The submerged girl had now grabbed the other and pull her down and they were completely drowning.  I got up instantly and ran over to them.  I grabbed each of them in one arm and pulled them up.  As soon as they surfaced they began to cry as if they knew they had almost died.  I pulled over to dry land and tried to console them and let them know they were safe, just then the mother came up and was in tears.  She had lost sight of them and couldn’t find them.  She didn’t even know where they were until she saw me pull them out.  The worst part was the life guard never even got off the chair.  I mean, seconds more and they very much could have died.  It seemed as though I was the only one who even saw the whole thing happen.  What is scary for me, is I have a daughter.  I can imagine what that mother was feeling.  I don’t know what I would do if my daughter had drowned.  The whole thing made me appreciate her even more and just cherish every moment I have with her.  Crazy crazy day.

This morning was awesome.  I don’t know if anyone else thought so.  But I sure did.  As a worship leader it gets really easy to get caught up in the “job”.  But this morning something happened during the worship set that shook me out of that and made me connect in a way that I haven’t in a while.  Justin, our lead guitar player, kicked into a wicked solo.  Now, I know he does that every sunday, but for some reason this morning when he lit off a face melter during the song Majesty, I felt God’s presence.  It actually moved me to the point of tears.  It wasn’t the solo that moved me to tears, it was God pressing on my heart, but the solo was the catalyst.  I have always believed that every member of the worship team is in essence a worship leader, and today was definitely proof of that.  I for one, thoroughly enjoyed it.

I have been undergoing a fast for the past few days.  So far it has been pretty tough at times.  Funny how starving yourself suddenly makes everything you see look soooo good.  I decided to open the good book (or ‘the Bible’ as some would call it which means book oddly enough, anyway) and take a peek at what Jesus was going through when he was fasting in the desert.  The thing that catches my attention the most is not Jesus tenacity in refuting Satan and his attempts at heavenly mutiny.  Rather, I am taking aback by one simple fact…Satan knows scripture?  In his second attempt to throw Jesus off the beaten path he actually quotes from the book of Psalms.  Now this may not come as a surprise to some of you, and well, it wasn’t a surprise to me either really, but for some reason it really hit me in that moment.  I mean, really?  Scripture?  The Bible?  He knows it off by heart?  Wow?  The really amazing thing…or sad thing…is that he knows it better than we do.  I think that we take our enemy for granted.  Too often we think of him as a weak minded fool who hasn’t got a clue what he’s talking about.  But if you think about it, his greatest weapon IS the ability to twist the truth.  He’s really good at it.  Too good in fact.  Why?  Because he knows the truth.  He knows it off by heart.  Don’t forget that he was there when things were being created.  He was there with God in the beginning.  He actually heard the voice of God say ‘let there be light’.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you that he is to be feared or awed or respected.  No.  What I am saying is that he is not to be underestimated or taken lightly.  The bible says in 1 Corinthians 10 that we are to be careful and not get ‘cocky’.  Peter tells us in chapter 5 of his first letter that we are to be ’sober minded’ and ‘watchful’ because Satan is just waiting to pounce on us like a Lion to his prey.  So how do we fight such an enemy?  How do we win a fight against someone who knows more about God than I do or ever will in this life?  How?  Simply, by using the very thing he twists everyday, the truth.  Paul tells us in Ephesians 6 that we are to ‘be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might’.  And in Philippians 4 Paul says that ‘we can do all things through Christ’s strength’.  James tells us that if we first submit to God, we then have the power to resist Satan.  When Jesus resisted Satan he did so using nothing but scripture.  Jesus summed it up best when he said, “If you remain in my word, then you are truly my disciples…you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.  Satan knows every inch of God’s word.  He knows the power it has over him.  He know he must obey God.  He must obey Christ in us.  He knows that we have power over him, through Christ.  He Knows.  Do You?

You know what, after today, I can totally see how a marriage could evolve and change to the point where one person would throw in the towel and call it quits.  Don’t get me wrong, I was no where near that point today.  I can just see how it WOULD happen.  Most people probably think that Pastor’s have great marriages and that we don’t have problems, but you know what, we do.  We’re people too.  Today was probably the worst fight my wife and I have ever had.  And I can count on two fingers how many fights we have had.  I don’t think I have ever been that mad at my wife before.  And I don’t think she has ever been that mad at me, and trust me I have done alot to make her mad.  Today was the absolute perfect example though, of a classic case of miscommunication.  The crazy thing is, it was no one person’s fault.  It was both of us just simply not communicating with the other, which blew up and out of proportion and out of control.  I said some things that I didn’t mean and some things that I regret.  I learned a few things today.  One, that you can never ever ever underestimate the power of actually saying what you really mean and not just thinking the other person ‘gets it’.  Two, that to be a leader in your home, a real leader, it sometimes means, scratch that, it should always mean that you are the first to back down and the first to ask for forgiveness.  It also means you obey what the bible says and not ‘let the sun go down on your anger’.  I knew I had to do one thing today before I went to sleep, and that was to resolve it.  Otherwise I would go to bed angry and start to harbor those feelings against the woman I love more than my own life.  And that would definitely lead to the end of the best thing I have ever and will ever know.  So, to sum up, 1.  never underestimate the importance of communication, 2. Be a man and say you’re sorry for crying out loud,  3. Don’t do it again idiot.

This message has been approved by my wife.